Satirical News Skit on Donald Trump’s Travel Ban

Hello and welcome to News four at 11. My name is Julian Esquer-Perez and I will be your host tonight. The big story for tonight is about the awesome executive order our beloved president tried to enact that would ban entry for all immigrants from 6 countries. The countries on this list are plagued with Muslim extremist and dangerous people. After a liberal federal judge blocked the order from being implemented our president has been working around the clock to make the necessary changes to the order that would make it legit. I mean, good thing Donald trump hasn’t been wasting any extra time and is prioritizing his time phenomenally. He has only visited his golf course in Florida to a hand full of times in his first 100 days in office. Also he has only played 19 rounds of golf in his first hundred days so it leaves plenty of time for other thing. He has only spent over 20 million in travel accommodations which is yet another sign of how our president has been using his resources wisely.

Another reassuring characteristic about our president is he is so understanding of worldly struggles. People trying to escape the violence in the countries put on the list are doing so because they are plotting on the United States. They don’t see the United States as a safe haven but they see it as merely a mission to make their jihadist friends back home proud. Donald trump is rarely wrong and he once said “I think apologizing’s a great thing, but you have to be wrong. I will absolutely apologize sometime in the hopefully distant future, if I’m ever wrong.” This shows that our president is flexible and humble enough to admit that he sometimes gets things wrong.

Soon we will be able to sleep easy without the worry of getting killed by one of these ruthless immigrants. Donald Trump is keeping our borders safe and our home front as American as ever. Trump has warned us what opening up to the world can lead to and has even come out saying “According to data provided by the Department of Justice, the vast majority of individuals convicted of terrorism and terrorism-related offenses since 9/11 came here from outside of our country.” This quote is false but it still shows us how dangerous immigrants are and how much Donald Trump cares about keeping Americans safe. I mean just take the Native Americans as an example, they let a lot of Europeans into the country and eventually they’re numbers were dwindled down by genocide, diseases, and alcoholism that were all brought by these Europeans. In a campaign rally in 2015 president Trump said “Donald J. Trump is calling for a complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives can figure out what the hell is going on”. We have to make America great again and if that means discontinuing the country’s long history of processing immigrant then the hell with the old ways. We’re going to build a wall unlike anyone has ever seen and it’s going to be yuge.

Now to be straight up, I do not support the ban. The ban inevitably discriminates against predominantly Muslim countries. I would support pursuing efforts to make the process of admitting immigrants more extensive with more strict regulations but an all-out ban will place more pressure on other places in the world to take in more refugees. Also this ban is perfect material for extremist groups to use as recruiting propaganda. This ban will put a strain on our relations with the countries on the list and the countries who will inevitably be forced into taking in some of these refugees.


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